Friday, November 5, 2010

The trashiest people in Chicago...

...reside in my building.  Seriously.  I live in a decent neighborhood, but somehow found the underbelly just by moving into my apartment.

You know you live in Trashville, USA when the following characteristics can be applied to your neighbors:

-Blasting music at 10 am in the morning.  Good for you for following city noise ordinances; however, if you have the luxury of sitting on your ass and blasting music mid-morning on a weekday, get a fuckin' job!

-Leaving garbage outside the door for days.  Last I recall, the city garbage collectors pick up the trash outside any residential buiding, either from receptacles or dumpsters.  Personally coming into your building and picking garbage from outside your door is news to me.

-Packing 25 of your closest friends and family members into the utility elevator.  This isn't indicative of race, socioeconomic class, or any other type of demographic indicator.  It's just indicative of what classless piece of trash you are.  Oh, and it's even more classless to do it at 2am.

-Roaming the building in your underwear, pajamas, and/or various states of undress.  Let's face it...none of you are Adonises.  I don't even think I walk around in such states of undress in my own apartment!

-Conducting loud cell phone conversations in the hall.  I really don't need to know that your friend (frenemy) Michelle is cheating on her boyfriend of 3 years and might be pregnant. 

-Leaving your doors open when you are not home.  It's already bad enough that people leave their doors unlocked, but your doors?  You are just asking for theft to occur.  Might as well leave some milk and cookies for potential robbers to enjoy afterwards.

-Letting your pets roam the building.  Mr. Jiggles just did a number right outside my apartment.  Not cool.

I could go on, but it's just too much energy to waste.

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